Brother, Can You Spare a ... Diploma?

"Those wascally Wepublicans," as Elmer Fudd might intone.

On Tuesday, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives passed HR 3630, a bill extending President Barack Obama's 2 percent payroll tax cut. The tax cut, which was set to expire on January 1, will save the average American family an estimated $1,000 next year. Good news in a continuing economically difficult climate, right?

Not so fast, my paycheck-challenged little friend!

Apparently, the wise men and women on Capitol Hill also want to help reduce the number of unemployed Americans with a couple of other choice tidbits included in the bill: unemployment insurance benefits, which currently provide for up to 99 weeks of support, will be slashed by about 40% . After all, they don't want you laying around, slacking on the job search thing.

And, since you must be ignorant if you don't have a job, you will also now be required to have a high school diploma or a GED in order to get the cash. So if you're a credit or two short, better enroll in some night school courses while you have no way to support your family!

Oh, and one more thing -- you'll need to find time to pee in a cup in between job interviews and Algebra One; there will be mandatory drug testing to be sure "that people who are receiving these unemployment benefits are not using those resources to purchase drugs." (A quote from House Rules Committee Chairman David Dreier, R-Calif. -- I promise, I'm not making this up!)

Many Republicans -- and a few Democrats seeking to pander to the more conservative elements of that party -- are fond of platitudes like "we believe a paycheck is better than an unemployment check." Another quote, this one from House Ways & Means Committee Chairman Dave Camp (R-Mich.)

Okay, most of us are with you on that one, Dave. But take a minute and just do the math (I'm assuming here that the Congressmen have at least a GED.)

As another Republican, Mark Zandi -- an economic adviser to John McCain in his 2008 presidential campaign -- has estimated, each dollar spent on extending unemployment benefits generates $1.61 in economic growth. Meanwhile, according to an analysis from the National Employment Law Project (NELP), the Republicans' bill would result in $22 billion in lost economic growth and cost at least 140,000 jobs next year.

Americans are not -- by and large -- stupid, shiftless and just waiting for the check in the mail so they can get stoned. The most recent data from the Bureau on Labor Statistics shows 6.9 million people receiving unemployment insurance (out of a total 14 million without work) versus 3.4 million job openings in September.

To borrow a line from another famous cartoon character, James Carville: It's the jobs, stupid!

Ideological idiocy aside, how do you people sleep at night offering stuff like this in the name of helping hard-hit Americans through these tough economic times?

A couple of helpful articles (and sources for the above stats and quotes):  Mother Jones and The Hill

D is for Democrat...and Disappointed

As my childhood hero, Popeye, used to say: "That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more!"

I suppose that, with the looming advent of 2012 -- and not much actual faith in the December 21 Mayan deadline for the ending of the age -- I'm going to have to make a decision about the presidential election.

Along with many other Democrats in America, you can color me "depressed, disappointed and disillusioned." Whatever euphoria may have briefly arisen in 2008 seems to have dissipated like so much swamp gas in the bayou. (Along with, evidently, any hope that BP and the Feds were actually going to do anything to "make things right" along the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of the Deep Throat...I mean,  Deepwater oil disaster.)

Actually, I am not registered with any political party here in my "home" state of Florida. I am staunchly and fiercely independent in my political views. The son of a fervent Goldwater Republican, it is sad to see what the GOP of my father's generation has become. Their agenda seems to me to be anything but Grand these days.

Lacking any true option for a viable independent candidate, that leaves the Democrats. I'll go ahead and confess, I voted for William Jefferson Clinton -- and I thought Slick Willy did a pretty decent job. Will he have a place in the pantheon of "great presidents" in US history? Doubt it. But judging by the quality of his successors, he sure looks better all the time!

I read a nice little opinion piece today by Canadian journalist Bogdan Kipling, who writes about America's political scene from no less a lofty peak than our nation's capital. (Reminds me of a popular bumper sticker from my youth, seen plastered on a toilet tank: "Flush Twice -- It's a Long Way to Washington!")

In his essay, Run, Hillary, Run, Mr. Kipling was addressing the perplexing dilemma facing many Democrats for 2012...should the donkeys run somebody besides President Obama -- most likely Hillary Clinton -- if they hope to derail whichever Republican candidate emerges from the goof-fest that is their primary season?

Mr. Kipling writes:

Increasingly the question of whether President Obama should be challenged for the 2012 nomination is surfacing among disgruntled Democrats worried about a solid Republican victory next fall. They’re right to be concerned: the crises facing the United States and the world deserve better than Obama’s permanent floating re-election campaign....

Obama’s priorities seem to be governed more by his re-election timetable than the demands of the national interest and reflective responses to the galloping changes in the global order. Contrary to mainstream opinion, Obama is a mediocre politician. Were it not so, surely he would have known that people get wise to polished repetitive, but empty speeches — and know the difference between bread and butter now and pie in the sky later.  (full article text here)

I'm no Obama-hater; I have plenty of friends who can fulfill that role for me. I begrudgingly granted him my vote after his emergence in the 2008 campaign; I did (fleetingly) dare to hope for a change in the way Washington was working. I've tried to be supportive of the office, the man and the policies the current administration has enacted.

But I think I'm with Mr. Kipling on this one: "the Democratic Party should bite the bullet and jettison the nation’s one-term Senate orator and try to elect the nation’s first woman president."

I'm pretty sure he ain't talking about Michele Bachmann, by the way.

To a Southerner, "Fried" is How You Know You're Home

I came home to visit my momma this week.

Well, "home" is kind of a relative word (no pun intended.) By that, I mean that I don't get to go to the place where I actually grew up anymore. Life's circumstances have dictated that my mom no longer lives in my home town, and is no longer married to my dad. After I was blessed with a wonderful childhood with both of my loving parents, my father passed away at the all-too-young age of 55. That number is staring me in the face, a fact that I consider more often than I'd like to admit.

But, anyhow, my mom is an amazing lady and has been fortunate to have been married to an equally amazing gentleman for the past 19 years -- their house is as close as I get to coming "home" these days, and it's a good place to be.

We have spent some time doing important things -- like sitting down with old family pictures and talking about who was from where, who married who, what it was like growing up on the farm with brothers and cousins and such. I suppose it's those upcoming 55 years that cause me to long for such connections.

I learned this week what a beautiful woman my great-grandmother Brown was. I also learned a lot more about the hell-bent adventures of my mother's cousin, "Bear"...all I can say is, I wish I'd a knowed him.

I have relaxed out here on the farm; Mr. Larry, as my mom's husband is known to my family, has cattle and a great big garden (out of which we enjoy the delicious bounty when the vegetables start coming in.)

It's quiet in that country kind of way that you just have to experience to understand. The couch in the big family room sleeps as good as any place I have ever laid my head -- so I've laid it there for a nap every afternoon.

Tonight, we sat down at the table and, I kid you not...I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Before me was spread a veritable feast of my favorite foods. Fried pork tenderloin, fried potatoes and onions, white beans (not fried, but slow-cooked in a pot,) cole slaw, fresh tomatoes, cornbread and "iced tea." (I never knew there was any other kind, but I now add the "iced" descriptor for all my Yankee friends.)

Dadgum, it was good!

I knew right then and there that I felt as at home as I was ever going to feel. That thought was kind of trickling around in the back of my mind while I made my nightly foray onto Facebook, where I posted the contents of the supper table for all to behold.

One of my friends responded by saying, " You know, I'm full from supper.... But reading the word 'fried' twice in one sentence made my stomach growl." 

That's when it hit me; it has everything to do with the culinary background of so much of what it means to me to go "home."

To a Southerner, "fried" is how you know you're home. We love to eat, because so much of what we eat symbolizes the way we love.

Our fondest times and grandest celebrations are marked by food; even when folks are in trouble, the first impulse of most Southern women to this day is, "I need to take them something to eat."

Nobody ever had to tell us we were eating "comfort food" when I was growing up -- we automatically knew we were comforted every time we sat at the table (and we did sit at the table back in those days!)

I love my mom and the rest of my family; we make every effort to sit down and eat together every chance we get. I'll admit that there is much less fried food on the dinner plate these days, and that's probably good in its own way.

But, every once in a while, it sure is good to go "home" -- cholesterol be damned!

Ladies, Start Your Engines (and Buy Your Policies!)

Some days, I am just ashamed.

The debate over abortion, at a fever pitch since the epic Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision in 1973, finds many people of good will and sincere convictions on opposite sides of the struggle.

Opponents of the current law of the land -- which guarantees women safe access to medical services regarding termination of their pregnancies -- speak justifiably and passionately about protecting the rights of unborn children. Supporters of the law speak just as passionately about the rights a woman has to the use of her own body. Among the terms used to describe these two points-of-view, the most common seem to be "pro-life" and "pro-choice."

One of the most intense points of conflict in the whole discussion revolves around the "special circumstances" of rape and incest. Should a woman be required to carry to term a child that was produced by an act of violence or familial abuse?

"Pro-lifers" vary on their response to this question, but the most avid among them assert that there is never an instance in which a woman and/or her medical caregivers should terminate a pregnancy. This position almost always carries with it some form of injunction invoking the name of God and phrases such as, "All life is precious."

Personally, I find compelling arguments on both sides of this debate -- though I must admit that I cannot truly understand forcing a woman to bear a child produced by such an act of aggression and evil. Two wrongs still don't make a right, even when egg meets sperm.

But a true low, in my opinion, was reached this week in the Kansas state legislature, where one of the nation's most restrictive abortion bills was passed and sent to the desk of Gov. Sam Brownback for his signature. I wholeheartedly support the right of the citizens of Kansas, through their elected representatives, to pass such legislation.

After all, if I were a citizen of Kansas and I didn't like it, I could move somewhere else, right?

Rather, it is an exchange from the floor of the Kansas House of Representatives, reported by the Associated Press (read the story here) that has turned my stomach and caused me to hang my head lower than Tom Dooley's.

Here are the words of Reps. Barbara Bollier and Pete DeGraaf:

Rep. Barbara Bollier, a Mission Hills Republican who supports abortion rights, questioned whether women would buy abortion-only policies long before they have crisis or unwanted pregnancies or are rape victims.


During the House's debate, Rep. Pete DeGraaf, a Mulvane Republican who supports the bill, told her: "We do need to plan ahead, don't we, in life?"

Bollier asked him, "And so women need to plan ahead for issues that they have no control over with a pregnancy?" 

DeGraaf drew groans of protest from some House members when he responded, "I have a spare tire on my car." 

"I also have life insurance," he added. "I have a lot of things that I plan ahead for."

DeGraaf is not only an avid pro-life supporter, he is reportedly an associate pastor at a Kansas church. I wonder if he will preach a sermon soon entitled, "Planning Ahead for Life's Little Uncertainties -- LIKE RAPE!"

May God have mercy on the victims of sexual conquest and abuse in all places and at all times.

Is Jesus Coming Again On May 21?

I saw the billboard on a westward swing through Phoenix, Arizona in March: "Jesus is Coming on May 21, 2011."

Simple. Direct. To the Point. Good ad, I guess...

I remember thinking, "Who in the heck paid for that?" closely followed by, "They must be nuts!" As the date is now about 48 hours from the time I am sitting down to write this, I guess I'm stopping to examine that second part. What if the guy behind all of this isn't nuts?

Harold Camping is 89 years old, a retired engineer (the mathematical kind, not the kind that drives trains.) At the tender young age of 74, he predicted that Jesus would come again on September 27, 1994 --and caused a fair amount of stir as hundreds of people sold their belongings and traveled to California to join him in waiting for the big event. The Messiah was a no-show, and Camping said, "Apparently, that was incorrect."

The man has a gift for cutting to the chase.     (read the coverage from 1994 here, if you'd like)

Since 1958, Mr. Camping has been building a network of radio stations around the world under the rubric of Family Radio. He's done a pretty good job, as they have an estimated worth today of around $166 million. I have no idea how much cash flows through their coffers, but they bill themselves as "listener supported."

A quick visit to their website (familyradio.com) delivers a sort of "God Housekeeping Seal of Approval" on the May 21, 2011 prediction. "The Bible Guarantees It" -- thus saith Brother Camping.

Now, as end-of-the-world prophets go, Mr. Camping seems to be fairly gentle and his followers strike me as nothing but sincere, dedicated and heart-felt in their faith. He is not really asking anybody to drink the Kool-aid in a Jim Jonesian sense of the word, certainly.

But talk about cryptic! Here's a little sample of his reasoning for the certainty of the date:

...certain numbers repeat in the Bible along with particular themes. The number five means atonement. Ten means completeness. Seventeen is heaven.Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D. Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years. If you multiply that number by 365.2422 -- the number of days in the solar calendar -- it equals 722,449. And if you add 51 (the number of days between April 1 and May 21) to that number, it equals 722,500. Multiply five by ten by 17 to equal 850, and multiply 850 by 850 and the result is the same: 722,500.

I didn't check it, but I'm betting that his math is correct. What it all means is another story.

There has been much more ado over the prediction of the Mayan Long Count Calendar and its December 21, 2012 "end of the age." That date even got its own movie, which is way cooler than radio. But Mr. Camping and his followers are making up for what they lack in technology with good, old-fashioned "take it to the streets" proselytizing.

(A well-written and respectful report by Jaweed Kaleem can be found here.)

I love reading the Bible, and I'm not ashamed to be called a follower of Jesus. I happen to believe that, one day, Jesus is indeed going to come again and cleanse the earth -- that, in and of itself, will be a heavenly time.

I'm not too sure about this whole May 21, 2011 thing...maybe Mr. Camping got it right this time. One thing you can say about it all, though.

We'll know in a coupla' days!

It's the Voter Fraud, Stupid!

Well, we all know that the Great Recession of 2008 has been bad. Most of us have been hit right where it hurts -- in our pockets.

Much ado was made in the purported "Tea/Republican Party Revolution" of 2010, when record numbers of incumbents were shown the exits in Washington and in state capitals around the nation. Voters were mad as hell, and just weren't going to take it anymore! And there were pledges of action on our top priorities as a nation.

So, as many state legislatures are winding up their current sessions and the US Congress prepares to depart for the hazy, lazy days of summer, we get the news that one of the main priorities on the minds of the people has, in fact, been firmly and thoroughly dealt with. We can all breathe a sigh of relief. No more worried days or sleepless nights.

It's voter fraud.

That's right...the "best and brightest" minds in the halls of our capitals have worked late into the night, burning the midnight oil in order to deal with that harbinger of gloom and doom: voter fraud.

The clearest example may be right here in my "home" (not) state of Florida, where our governor is expected to sign into law the bill party-lined through the legislature that places multiple restrictions on who can vote and when. It was hailed as "the most significant achievement" of Gov. Rick Scott's first legislative session.

Now, I know that Florida doesn't have the most sparkling reputation for electoral efficiency. But, according to "gubmint" records, there were an entire 31 cases of alleged voter fraud referred by the Florida Department of State over the last 3 years. My God...31 cases in a population of 18,537,000 people (give or take a few snowbirds.) No wonder the citizens were rioting in the streets to have this travesty overturned!

Or, as another class act governor has put it (I speak of none other than the Hon. Scott Walker of Wisconsin): "Wisconsin is broke" and some serious money has got to be saved. So, his legislature is considering a Voter ID bill that will cost (that's not a typo) taxpayers an additional $5.7 million per year. Holy Union Dues, Batman!

They're almost as bad in Wisconsin as the folks down in Florida; Attorney General Van Hollen found that a staggering 0.00003% of Wisconsin voters committed voter fraud. Yes, that’s about the same percentage as one has getting struck by lightning and greater than the chance to win the Lottery.

No need for me to drone on ad infinitum, ad nauseam....  you catch my drift, right?

Former President Bill Clinton was credited with perhaps the most micro-focused campaign strategy ever invented when, in unseating popular first-term President George H.W. Bush, he coined the phrase: "It's the economy, stupid!"

O, Slick Willy, where are you when we need you?

Osama, Obama and the Stealers Wheel

I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place...

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right,
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.
 
Child of the 70's that I am, this was the oddly disconcerting melody that kept coming into my brain as I tried to sort out my feelings at the news of the death of Osama bin Laden.

On the one hand, with Americans and lovers of peace all over the world, I rejoiced at the demise of this generation's most visible terrorist. I have wept, grieved, fussed and fumed over the tragedy that was 9/11 and our country's seeming inability to bring the perpetrators to justice. Osama taunted, the world listened, and we felt impotent.

That ain't good.

So the news, when it came, opened a floodgate of raw emotion that has understandably erupted in everything from wild celebration to a little terrorist-baiting of our own. Suddenly, it seems as if the US is superior once again -- right and might are on the same side for once. The skinny Arab rich boy can hide no longer. He's dead (and evidently, according to multiple Facebook postings I have seen, sharing a warm spot in hell with Adolf Hitler.)

Cue the funky chords from Stealers Wheel:

     Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
      I got the feeling that something ain't right...

 A post from a good friend of mine said it pretty well --(thank you, Janet)

I am glad justice was done but am also sad today. "As I live," says the Lord GOD, "I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways!" ~ Ezekiel 33:11

Adding to the oddness of the whole Osama ending is the involvement of the President of the United States -- Barack Obama. The President has been haunted by innuendo over everything from the validity of his birth as a US citizen to his supposed "secret allegiance" to the tenets of Islam. Many are quick to claim that, if Obama had been President in 2001, he never would have ordered the pursuit of the al Qaeda ringleader -- it took President Bush to do that.

I don't even know how to answer that kind of malarkey-induced reasoning. 

But I do know that there is one indisputable fact that was true at some point over the weekend -- the Commander in Chief of the United States Armed Forces gave the go-ahead for the elimination of the target that had eluded capture for nearly 10 years. And it was done. And the guy sitting in the big chair who had to make the call was Barack Hussein Obama. He is an American and he had the will, after all. So that is pretty much that.

How are we going to feel about the death of bin Laden in 10 years, 20 years, 100 years from now? (Well, I don't guess there will be too many of us here to feel anything in 100 years -- but you get my point.)

Right now, I'm just going to hold on to the jumble of images and emotions that are swirling through my brain and my heart. And listen to the music one more time --

Tryin' to make some since of it all,
But I can see it makes no sense at all...

Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right,
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.   (words by Gerry Rafferty and Joe Egan)